I went to a special journey on 7 October 2017. I travelled to India to take part in an ancient health preserving spiritual retreat (kaya kalpan) using the KUTI PRAVESHIKA RASAJANA method.

Following the Ayurvedic cleansing cure I spent a month in a hut, where I stayed alone in total darkness, without sounds and my only nourishment was 1.2 litres of milk a day. All what you may know about this method I started to gather only for myself. Later, when I talked to friends about my journey, many of them found it was very exciting. (Except the few whose face was beset by despair because they firmly believed I was crazy.)

The simplest solution seemed to be to set up a Facebook-group, where my relatives and acquaintances are able to follow the experiences of the first few weeks during my stay in the Athreya Ayurvedic Centre. In the second month, of course, I couldn’t give a sign of life ‘cause I had to live not only without food, but without internet just as well! This is why the reports were only continued at the beginning of December, when my special retreat was over. This book retains the direct experiences of the reports written on a daily – or several times a day – basis to the Facebook-group.

I can’t take the responsibility of writing a technical book on Ayurveda. Nor feel I competent to tell you what is going to and what may happen in a kutee.

In order to make you understand the treatments more easily, I put down shortly what needs to be known. But my description lacks scientific scrutiny. I must also add that Ayurvedic medicine is a lot more, covers a wider scope and uses many other treatments and drugs in addition to those I’ve got. As far as I know, the kutee as a retreat had never been studied scientifically, it may mean different experiences to everybody, you can return with quite different memories than I did. My only goal is to share my own experiences with those who might be interested.

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healing darkness

What is the „kutee”?

A hut with three layers of walls, where you are alone for a month

  • without normal food,
  • in complete darkness,
  • without music, books, or entertainment,
  • without a bath or shower,
  • without talking to people, and
  • without connection with friends or family.
  • The daily meal is 1.2 litres of milk + 70 grams amalaki rasayana.

The method of Kutee Praveshika Rasayana has been practiced for thousands of years in India for spiritual development, healthcare, and rejuvenation - in the interest of a real rebirth. In today’s accelerated lifestyle, it has become almost forgotten; there are only 3 places in India where it is still practiced. To date, very few people from Europe have participated in this retreat.

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healing darknessA day full of surprises. To start with, Dr Sreejit came in Sunday. I thought he would just greet me. Not at all. He went on with checking my health status. I mean “went on” and did not start because previously he already has sent out a detailed questionnaire to me. It contained questions quite awkward to our minds, saturated with Western type doctoring. Such as how many times do I pee a day and how long does it take! Or: does my stool floats on the surface of the water, or does it sink? That is, he carefully and thoroughly examined me: my eyes, my mouth, my nose, my throat, my pulse, my heartbeat ... then, which was utterly uncomfortable: he kept on grabbing my body all over! I can’t say palpating, far from it. He actually grasped me all over, my skin, my fat, my muscles! I couldn’t stop moaning all the time, and he just nodded on that: too much toxin! I would say, if you are grabbed this way, you must naturally moan. Whether or not it is the store of poisons which make you moan, well, this must turn out by the end of the second month the latest.

However, this was far from being the end of surprises…”

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“The next treatment was the "black-soup". Not joking! She seated me right away on a low stool as I was, wet in the dhoti, with a huge plastic bucket in front of me. A lot of concoction was brought to me, but “only” about two litres had I to drink. Judged by the taste it was made of liquorice. Whoever did "kunjal", would know that to drink 2 litres of water is difficult, but not impossible. So I swilled the whole lot. And that was the point when I was supposed to give back into the bucket everything which went down the moment before. However, my subconscious reassured me that it was not willing to expose me to such a "danger". About half an hour of great effort, and half a litre went into the bucket. My dear helpers did not insisted any further. By that time most of the liquid – to put it freely after Attila József (a Hungarian poet) –„moved happily through the tunnels of the intestines"…”

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healing darkness“I get drugs as well. I went to see dr. Jayalakshmi yesterday. I was glad to have her on duty, because she speaks slowly and cares for me to understand. I told her so and complained: “Dr Sreejit thinks I was a complete idiot! But he only speak too quickly for me”.

She asked how the treatment was and handed over four drugs. Two of them were in bottles, the other two in jars for powders. I asked what is was? She pointed to the bottle: Padhya Kustumparyadi. As if someone said in Hungary: well, Kalmopyrin of course! I decided to clarify the issue next time.

As I diluted and stirred these medicines in my room in the evening, it struck me what a great trust I must have to come here to the other end of the world and I take these “dunnowhat”.

The first one is a spoon medicine with a kind of taste like a cough mixture given to children. Or which was, back in time, I can’t tell if it is used still. The second one is a powder, which I smelled and I was lost. It stinks like a rotten egg! Gosh, and it tastes like it, of course ! I drink it quickly, rinse my mouth, scratch my tongue and rush to eat something.

The other two have to be taken after the meals. The syrup is agreeable, the powder is nasty. The same procedure, except that neutralisation is made by brushing my teeth this time.”

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“The Hindu ascetic Tapaswiji Maharaj (1770-1955) lived 185 years. In 1940 the magazine Life published an article on Tapaswiji where he was called “The Miracle Man of India”. The article highlighted that he had undergone a significant rejuvenation process by cleansing his body using the method under the name kaya kalpa. Using this method, Tapaswiji managed to reverse the process of his own ageing dramatically three times. For the last time, it was reported that he spent a year underground and reappeared in the physical state of a thirty years old man, although being more than one hundred years old at the time. He himself attributed the success of the treatment in his ecstatic dissolution in the Lord Krishna in the first place, his own yoga skills in the second and only marginally the consumption of the medicinal herbs required by the treatment…”

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“I woke up very tired. No such thing happened so far, I was always laden with energy and after the mantras I continued with long, slow asanas. But now I had no guts even to get up. Gidis brought breakfast at half past nine, I stayed in bed up to that time, and was dizzy when got up.

The rasayana was indeed squeezed through some kind of a filter today. Never before could I send down so much of it as today morning. (I showed the piece of wood to the doc yesterday.)

Another story from last night occurred to me. Gidis brought my dinner. As he put it down, he told me something like this in a solemn manner: “Maam, any time you hear the sound of volleyball I am going to pay you 200 rupees.” “I can’t catch you” – I said. For some reasons, my brain is banned from conceiving numbers. I have to repeat in my mind in order to understand. Maybe we can put it more correctly by repetition, I thought. But he probably felt he was overdoing it, because for the second time, it sounded like this: “I will kill the one who plays here again.”…

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“14 November, Tuesday

I went to bed merrily in the evening. I moved about a lot before, I felt tired, so I hoped for good reasons that I will sleep just as well as heretofore. Outside a muffler must have been installed indeed, the filtering noise was now bearable.

However, sleep eludes me. The sound which I kept on hearing from late afternoon started over again (or maybe it never ceased in the first place?). I thought then someone must make order in the store in the side of the kutee. It was a sound when a pile of metal plates are put to another place. Someone works late – I pondered.

But the particular noise started over again in the night. In unpredictable intervals “Plates tinkled”. Now in a more subdued tone, now more loudly. This was when I fancied an animal doing something. But what? This is no rummaging, no objects are rolled over, the sound is always identical, only its strength varies.

By 2 o’clock in the night my heart leapt whenever it tinkled. I could not even lie any more, I just sat on the bed. May I call for Gidis? Both he and the doc told me countless times that I can call Gidis any time I am in trouble. I was sorry to wake him up but I thought maybe he would know what to do. I dialled 888 with trembling hands. It rang lengthily, then a machine voice told me this will not be answered ever!

I sat on the bed and stirred at each tinkle. Except this, there was a total silence. I dialled again. He answered finally. Woken up from a very deep sleep, he realised very slowly who am I and what I want. It took a while before he entered to me. He said he walked around the kutee several times and did not hear any sound, see any animals. This is quite right. If the noise is made by an animal, it would take a hide as long as someone is hanging around. He reassured me that he will walk around once more and listen for a while. And I reassured him how sorry I was to disturb him in his sleep. He shook his head in a denying gesture: “This is my work, maam.”

I was fully aware that as long as he keeps on strolling and listening, the little animal would play dead. Thus, if I can fall asleep within a short period of time, it’s half the battle. But unfortunately, I kept on tossing and turning sleeplessly. And all of a sudden, it started again: chirr… “

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It was always there in the back of my mind that I ought to write a book once. The thought was hushed up for a while, because I felt others have written everything before of all the topics … First I only intended to make a few Facebook posts of this trip as well. But the book somehow wanted to come to daylight and I had to admit that most probably I am the first one to write a book on this special topic…

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